When I first heard of autism, I was already knowledgeable--or so I thought. But when I got to know what it really was, I was shocked. It was not the silent world that I had thought. It was a world in which I, unknowingly, had grown up. And I know for a fact that I am not the only one who found out as a pre-teen or adolescent.
So here are some of the things that helped me understand who I was, along with why I was so different from others.
Temple Grandin: This movie was my first real exposure to autism. I watched it in seventh grade; however, it is suitable for a fourth or fifth grader if you pick and choose scenes. This was a fair portrayal of autism--not the best, but fair enough to help anyone understand that our world may not be theirs.
Then came these three books: Be Different, Look Me in the Eye, and Freaks, Geeks, and Asperger's Syndrome. Each has some slower parts (and the second has some inappropriate parts), so again, picking and choosing is the key. After those came some of Temple Grandin's books, along with another that explained to me what savant syndrome was (Born on a Blue Day, written by Daniel Tammet, mathematical savant himself).
After that, I just searched around. If you need to tell your child, don't say anything unless you feel like they could use an explanation--but don't wait until they're off to college, either. My rule: if they bring up autism, provide them with the resources to figure it out for themselves. That's what worked for me. And if they don't? Give them just enough of a pointer, here and there, so they eventually will.
Oh, and never let them forget--it is just a word. It just describes them, like their height or hair color.It doesn't mean anything else. Yes, some people prefer to date shorter blonde girls, but others like the taller, dark-haired geek. And this is a proven fact, in my opinion. Look at this: the MacGyver episode "Ugly Duckling". A teenage girl, struggling to fit in in some ways, but plenty good in her own ways. She had a bright future, just as all children do--no matter how different.
Speaking of different, there's a song called just that, and it's even got a tie to the MacGyver episode. It comes from the play "Honk!", based off the story of the ugly duckling. It's the Ugly Duckling, trying to figure out why he's so different. There are plenty of renditions, but right here's my favorite one: Gavin Creel singing "Different".
In the end, there's just one trick to it. You have to let them be kids, all through everything. And that's the biggest rule.
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